Holding Pattern

Honestly I expected baby Stagcock to have arrived by now. At my last appointment on Thursday my doctor said I was nearly 3cm dilated and it looked like my body was ready, we are just waiting on the baby. All weekend I had a lot of back pain and cramps, and contractions here and there, several that took my breath away. I went for a walk Friday, Saturday, Sunday and today we played at a park and the beach for almost two hours. I'm a little afraid to think about what the active labor will be like because if I was at 3cm four days ago, and my body's already done this twice, labor might be hard and fast. It's ironic that labors generally get faster with each birth because finding a place to put the other kids seems like it'd work better if labor was longer each time. I'm very grateful that we have supports in place such as Bill's brother Adam and our neighbor Cristi, in the likely event that the show starts at an inopportune time such as Bill being at work and the labor being strong and fast from the get-go.

But even though I've had more days than I anticipated, God is showing me the blessings. It's nice to have a crazy-clean house because I have nervous energy. It's nice to sleep through the night. It's nice having less laundry than if we had 5 in our family. It's nice to spend time snuggling the girls. It's nice to have time to read with them without juggling a newborn quite yet. It's nice having fewer commitments outside of the home. It's nice having a freezer full of meals I made a month ago.

Although a few days ago if someone said to me, "Could be another 2 weeks," I'd punch them. By "someone" I mean Bill, he actually did this and I actually reacted that way too. It made me cry and then feel stupid for being so worked up about something I know will eventually happen. The baby really CAN'T stay in there forever. Eventually he will come out and we will start this new season. It's happened twice before for us, I'm sure three times a charm.

Hopefully the next post will be an update from the hospital. Or not. But eventually yes.