Book Review: The Mommy Survival Guide

For our anniversary I told Bill I wanted some books by Barbara Curtis. They came in the mail and within two days I read "The Mommy Survival Guide." Since I had reviewed another book by Curtis, I figured it would be good to review this one too. Maybe reviewing books will become a regular blog thing for me.

This book was highly enjoyable for me to read, and Barbara Curtis is quickly climbing up my ladder of favorite authors. My favorite feature about this book is the super short chapters. The books is medium length--190 pages--and there are 30 chapters, but each one is no more than 8 pages long. Barbara puts her experience as a mommy and expertise as a writer to great work. The chapters are organized into subcategories such as "The sooner you surrender, the better," and "A little bit of Mommy goes a long way." Each chapter has a quick tip, word of encouragement, or resource as well. She lists helpful websites, recipes, games to play with kids, Bible verses, and quotes from famous people. At the end of chapter 5, "It came to pass, not to stay," there is a recipe for Toads-in-a-Hole which is an egg cooked in a piece of toast. The next day I made it for the girl's breakfast and they ate it up fast!

Many of her topics are somewhat counter cultural, such as saying it's okay to win and lose, and that boys and girls are really different and how (in general) the public school system has changed to avoid competition and favor girls over boys, labeling stereotypical "boy" behavior (being more active, etc) as bad. From page 63: "Some 'experts' read the active, more assertive behavior of boys as indicating a propensity to violence. But this line of thinking shows a lack of respect for the unique qualities God has built into boys--the qualities that will someday make them men."

I found a lot of encouragement in this book as well, and she brings it back to Jesus often. One afternoon I was an emotional wreck (pregnancy hormones perhaps?) and I sat down to read more of this book and got to chapter 23: Desperate Motherhood. From page 140, "But what happens when you come to the concusion that you're responsible for making a mess of things? What happens when you take stock of where you are as a mother and you don't like what you see? What happens when you feel you've failed, that you made the wrong choices or that you never tried hard enough?" When I read this and the rest of the chapter, I felt like Jesus, through Barbara's writing, came alongside me, making me feel less alone in my role as a mother. I have support but sometimes it does feel very alone on a bad day. Either my attitude or the kid's is off (more often it's me that's the problem!) and I just feel like a failure. It was encouraging to read in this chapter, "For anyone headed in the wrong direction--or who just needs to tweak a few things to become a better mother: Every day is a new opportunity to make a fresh start." I am thankful that Jesus always brings a new day for me to follow him in everything, including my role as a mother.

As with Barbara's other book I reviewed, I highly recommend reading this book for any woman, new or not-so-new to motherhood. Thank you Jesus, for speaking through Barbara to me while I read this book!

Book Review: Lord Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room

This is an embarassing confession, but I rarely read books. Not counting reading books to the kids, I really haven't read anything since it was required reading in college, and even then I probably skimmed most of the material. And I was an English major. Doubly embarassing. I read blogs and things online, and have read a few books in bible study, but it's been a long time since I read something just for fun and just for me.

I regularly read the Mommy Life blog by Barbara Curtis and in January she assigned her readers to read the classic Animal Farm and she would lead a discussion. I thought I'd try it, since we have a copy of Animal Farm and it's a very short book. I loved it. All I wanted to do was read Animal Farm and all I could think of was the pigs and the old dog and the hardworking horse. Of course it's satire and many parallels can be drawn between what Orwell was satirising and the current American government. After that, I felt a love of reading I hadn't felt in a long time.

So I read Barbara Curtis' book Lord, Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room and I'm glad I did. It's another short read, and very relevant to someone in my position as a mom to young kids. Among the big ideas in this book, one is that in a mother's life there may not be a lot of time alone doing bible study, there are always interruptions like a screaming baby, a needy toddler, laundry, dishes or dinner to be made. It's a good thing the Lord meets us where we are and sometimes it might be in the laundry room while doing the 18th load of laundry. From page 24, "When I turn my thoughts to God, loading the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, getting up to nurse the baby at night, even changing a diaper can be a prayer. And as I turn my thoughts to Him, I pray for all the mommies like me who are too busy wiping peanut butter and jelly off little faces and kissing owies to maintain the practice of what the less encumbered call quiet time." Since reading this, it's made me look at my daily tasks different and thank God for them. I am thankful I have loads and loads of laundry to do, because it means my house has growing children who have the energy to get dirty while they're playing. This doesn't mean I have an excuse for not doing "quiet time." I spend way too much wasted time on the computer and watching TV, when I should be deepening my relationship with Jesus. 

Barbara also tells her story of how Jesus worked in her life, through her wild young adulthood as a political leftist, to a single mom with two daughters, to a recovering alcoholic. She married her husband Tripp and together they came to Jesus and she learned how to be a good mother (in her words, page 42). Later they had 7 children together, one with Down Syndrome, and adopted three more with DS. She discusses a bit about having so many children and how it's very similar to being a CEO, running a small company and being organized. She also relates the blessing of having a large family. From page 66-67, "Sometimes the amazement [of people upon finding out their family size] is respectful, but sometimes it hurts, as when people say things like, 'I don't know how you do it. My two are enough to drive me crazy.' It's embrassing to hear another mother say this in front of her children--and mine. I was to grab her hand and say, 'Stop! Think! That's not the way it's supposed to be! These children are our treasures!" She then references Psalm 127 which calls children a heritage from the Lord. 

Upon reading this, I was quite convicted about my comments about Caley and Amelia. Life with these girls is difficult at times, but probably more because I am stubborn, selfish, and don't want to be inconvenienced by their legitimate needs as children. I need to be more cautious with what I say, especially when they are around. Actually, I need to be more cautious about everything I say, whether or not it's about my children! I too often speak without thinking. 

The last chapter of the book is about her child with a "little extra," Jonny. Jonny has Down Syndrome. She writes that among the difficulties associated with having a child with Down syndrome, there are many unexpected joys and rewards! After having Jonny, Barbara birthed her last child, Maddy, and years later adopted three more boys with Down Syndrome. Wow! This is a huge reason why I admire Barbara as a mother, Christian, author, and advocate. On page 124 she writes, "What will be your little extra? It might not be a baby with Down syndrome, but surely as you continue your spiritual journey, God will drop something in your lap or whisper something in your heart that will give you the opportunity to grow and change, to enlarge your capacity to love, to teach you compassion, and to depend on Him and love Him more. "

What will be my/our little extra? When I am 90 and look back on my life, what will I see that helped me learn more about God's love for me and plan for my life? I'm guessing it'll be something I can't fathom right now, because as much as I'd like to be in control, I'm not. God is.

I highly recommend this book and Barbara's blog in general. Thank you!